I got my first Batman comic (it was actually a Detective Comic) at a drugstore when I was in fourth grade. I had liked Batman before that. I used to enjoy watching the old, campy 1960’s Batman TV show. I had an antique Batmobile, and I used to carry a green Batman and Robin satchel to elementary school. But reading my first comic book was the event that made me absolutely bonkers about Batman.
People are drawn to Batman for different reasons, but honestly, I just thought he was cool. He looked dark and intimidating, but he helped old ladies who were getting mugged. I liked that. At the time I was entering what would be a decade long awkward phase in my life. I was short, freckly, pale, and awkward. I didn’t dress cool. I had very little athletic ability. Girls did not like me. Batman, to me, was an escape. I could get lost in his world and do unbelievable things vicariously through him. When I got picked on at school, I would just imagine Batman coming in and regulating. Or better yet, I would imagine being Batman and fending for myself.
When I was young (although not as young as you may think), I used to take one of my stuffed animals and hide it somewhere in our house at night. Then I would put on my cheap Batman suit (coincidentally, it came from a drug store also) and the goal was to get through the house, “rescue” the stuffed animal, and get it back to my room without my parents or my brother seeing me. If I’m being REALLY honest with you, I’ll confess that I imagined the stuffed animal to be whatever girl I had a crush on at the time.
When the first Batman movie with Michael Keaton came out, it was great because Batman merch was much more readily available. In fifth grade, I had a Batman shirt for every day of the week. I also had a sweatshirt, a jacket, shoe laces, and a ring. I ate Batman cereal, Batman pop tarts, Batman mac and cheese, and most anything Batman that was edible. All my allowance went toward buying Batman comics. My favorite book was The Greatest Batman Stories Ever Told. It was a collection of Batman comics throughout the years including Detective Comics #27 from May 1939—the first Batman comic. When Batman came out on VHS, I watched it 27 times. No joke.
I can’t explain how special those memories are to me. I was a dork who got picked on a lot, and I really do believe that Batman got me through some of it at least emotionally. He was a loner himself, but I always had a feeling he would have taken me under his wing; no pun intended. I remember at the beginning of fifth grade we had to stand up, say our name, and say what we wanted to be when we grew up. I said, “I’m Mark, and I want to be Batman or someone who fights crime.” Literally everyone in the room laughed at me.
That’s when I started making my plans. I started a rigorous exercise routine that consisted of the only exercises I knew—like jumping jacks, twisting at the waist, and jogging in place—really intense stuff. I also began to draw up plans for my gadgets and I had plans for a Batcave. Part of my plans were contingent on being able to find an old, resourceful butler. You think I’m joking, but I’m not. I even found some of the plans a few years ago when I was looking through an old toy treasure chest.
These days I don’t have much money to spend on comic books anymore, but I still love Batman. When Brandy and I got married, my groom’s cake was the Kid A bear with Batman logos for eyes. My friends still get me little Batman figurines and t-shirts and I have a Batman logo on the back of my car. But I guess that is the extent of it now—trinkets and clothes. Obviously, I didn’t get very ripped from my jumping jacks, and I don’t have a butler. My plans never quite came to fruition (yet). But I look back on my days as Batman-in-training, and I know that it shaped my life in ways that I’m aware of and ways I’m not. Thank God for Batman.
